As I sit here in this hopsital waiting room, I take a moment to ponder the past two years. I reflect on the choices and decisions that have led me to this point in my life. I take a moment to reflect on how running from God put me in a curious predicament. A predicament fraught(? wrought) with joy coupled with sadness. I tried to circumvent God's plan for me two years ago. I lost sight of his love and mercy. But I've found it again.
Out of the darkness an angel was born, naked except for the skin on his body. He is my joy on Earth. The sunshine on my cloudy days. His laugh is infectious. His smile so mischevous. He is my son.
I wouldn't change a thing about my life because screwing up got me to this point. All my screw ups led to my son and I wouldn't change him for anything. He is so damn precious. He can say my name now. He gets mad at me and says "stacie!" and I say no my name is mama and he scrunches his nose up at me.
Its really something to look at him and to see myself. He looks just like I did as a baby. He has dimples like my brother and is so doggone mischevous. He can climb on the couch by himself now. He knows how to use my phone to call my dad. He adores my dad so much. He wakes up looking for him. He is spoiled but not with material things. We spoil him with love and in return he loves us back.
His new favorite thing is to walk up to you and hug you and pat your back. He will go from person to person hugging them and patting them. He blows kisses when he says "I love you" and waves bye bye. He still only has the six teeth but thats okay. We are still continuing to nurse at 16mo strong. Ithink nursing is the reason we have such a strong bond. He knows that my love is never contingent upon anything. He likes to wash my knees when we co-shower. He will go potty on his big boy potty when he feels like it, but not unless he's in the mood.
I feel so blessed. I've let go of the bitterness and anger towards KB. It wasn't helping me move on. At the end of the day I can only thank him for giving me Ezra. Everyday I share with this kid is doubly blessed.
He Is my peace of mind, my purpose, and my destiny.
I hate this tooth. It is evil incarnate. Out of nowhere he falls on the steaming hot cement at the college crying. So I check his diaper, nada. I check to make sure there are no rocks in his shoes, diaper and mouth. And then I felt it. The sharp jagged edges of the devil himself. The tooth. People it's attempting to breach the gums!!! Man your posts!!! 
