I miss when my small potato was small

In one week my son will be two.  In one week I will have been a single parent for two years.  In one week I will probably cry my eyes out because my baby won't be a baby anymore. Time just rushed past entirely too fast.  Wasn't it just yesterday I had him? ??

Watching him grow up is just mind boggling.  He picks up words so quickly. He's intelligent,  very charismatic,  and loving.  He suddenly developed a love for hot wheels cars.  He will sit and play with them for hours.  Crashing them and making noises. 

He still loves his babies tho.  Gah im not ready for him to grow up.  I want to make sure I don't fail him as a parent.  I don't want to make the mistakes my parents made with me.  I need to work on my temper and my patience.  He can be frustrating. He's so stubborn and loves to try me. 

God did a miraculous thing when he created my son. He took a shitty situation and just turned it around. We want for nothing.  We have the best support system ever.  Tons of people who love us even if they aren't always really available. Most importantly we have each other.

I tell him daily that I love him and that I'm proud of him.  I give him tons of his and kisses.  I try to show him what love is the way my parents showed me.  Love is being there not just physically but emotionally.  Love is allowing him to make mistakes but being there to soften the fall.

It is fact that I am a major screw up,  but this child of mine is the best thing I've ever done. I could wax poetic about how he's changed my life, but I won't. 

I am now excited for his party. Yay baby ezra lol

It's 2015 Stay Woke

It's so hard being woke when everybody else is sleep.  Wake up dummies and see how society is distracting you. How many of you know that the Patriot Act(2.0) is no more?  The reason you don't know is because of bruce/caityln jenner flooding the airwaves. Now we have the Master of Disguise aka Rachel Dozenal aka master of cultural appropriation flooding the airwaves. Any good things she's done are now null and void due to her lies. 

Wake up and stay woke.

Ps please miss me with any transphobia comments. I am not the one.

Sparkly Unicorns Sparkle

So let's just start by saying I have been avoiding writing.  One reason being my bff of forever isn't talking to me, at all.  Reason two being I have a major freaking concrete block in my head.  It's blocking my creative juices.  Thirdly,  ezra hid my keyboard.  Again.  The struggle is so real.

We are in the throes of terrible twos.  My nice loveable baby has been replaced with the "no monster". Every single thing i do warrants a very loud and vocal NO. There are a ton of tantrums,  refusing to eat,  and of course getting kicked out of church for crying or yelling over the pastor. I hate the word no.  I csn ask if he's hungry and he puts his little hands up and screams "no mommy no thank you". He fights diaper changes.  Ugh! !!

He was mauled by the demon pesks, the mosquito. His legs are COVERED to the point where I've been putting band aids on them to keep him from itching.  He itched his legs till they bled the other day. They got him good this year.

His party is planned.  Everyone has been invited.  Including his father.  And I'm so anxious about if everyone will behave.  Extremely anxious. But it should be fun for ezra.  It better be. 

I'm in a calm space.  I think I'm in shock my baby is gonna be two.  He's not really a baby anymore. He's a small human with a strong personality,  opinions,  and stubborn as heck.  But I love my twin, he's my boy,  mommy's little cock blocker. He's my angel.

I asked his father when he was going to start helping out.  You can imagine how that conversation went but he said he got ezra some things.  We've been trying to meet up but since everyone else is using my truck it hasn't happened. 

I hate not driving my truck.  Or rather I hate letting my brother use it. I don't mind my dad driving it cuz he's car smart and not an idiot. But lately I haven't been able to leave the house cuz they always take off with my car and I'm fucking stranded.  Like I'm stuck home all day,  no big except I haven't gone grocery shopping in a month.  Just like ugh.

I went to my aunts wedding vow renewal. It was beautiful.  We didn't stay long cause ezra has a fever but the ceremony was so beautiful.  Loved it!  I still have hope one day I will get married! One day right? 

The Woman formerly known as Bruce Jenner

Based on the reaction I got on tumblr, nobody wants to hear this. But if Caitlyn Jenner//Brucie was Dwight from the down the street no one would be saying a damn thing about the "miraculous transformation". I'm sincerely happy for her that she's found her place in life, however I am so tired of seeing it all over the fucking internet. Move the fuck on. There are so many things are way more important and relevant than changing your identifying pronouns. To be quite honest the only reason people are all "omg omg I shit my pants" is because 1.) the connection to the Kardashians, and 2.) White woman. 

No one made such a stink over Laverne Cox. So why don't we all move along with our lives in an orderly fashion, because face it, whether she's Caitlyn Jenner or Bruce Jenner she ain't done jack diddly for you. There are way more important things we could be discussing. The current state of our government, the polices "we like to kill/murder/make the victim the perpertrator of black males", AIDS, Cancer research, the decline of morals, the list seriously goes on. 

I am in no way transphobic, homophobic but I am seriously tired of seeing her all over my feed. 

Slacker mess

Im slacking on my blogging.  There has been a lot going on.  I'm uber exhausted and my child was mauled by Mosquitos.  So i will blog in depth tomorrow. Tonight i shall sleep and dream.