Lemonade

I just need everyone to understand this, I am in no way a Beyoncé fan. At all. So I was so skeptical of this Lemonade that she was serving last Saturday. I recorded it and went about my day, attempted to watch it Sunday and said nope and then forced myself to sit and watch it Monday.

First off, this visual masterpiece broke me all the way down. Every single song was relatable and I felt it in the depths of my soul. This cd is about so much more than just alleged cheating. For me its about how as black women we are the most disrespected people on this planet, yet somehow we still seem to survive. We scrape ourselves off the floor and pour into our families, our men, our children and our work with no regard to ourselves. Everything we do is for someone else, we don't do for ourselves. Ever. I felt that message in my bones.

So I was cool the first few songs but the visuals man, were just getting to me. All these beautiful black women, strong and powerful, like unapologetically black. I loved it. And it was every single shade of brown across the board, it wasn't limited to redbones. In the third visual on the track, Don't Hurt Yourself when she asked "who the fuck do you think I am" I was like yes girl preaaach.

It spoke to me. It opened wounds that never fully closed. It had me raw and crying for two days. Each time I listen to it, I am healed even more. Its like she goes thru the experiences we have as black women. Yes white women go thru some of the same stuff but this wasn't for them. This was to build up black women, its okay for us to empower each other and be unapologetic about it. In a society that is so dismissive to us, dismissive to our feelings, a society that invalidates our very existence, we needed this. I needed this. Like honestly I have so much going on in my life and because of this cd I have started to confront some of my stalled emotional healing.

Other than joining the Beyhive I am so OVER THIS CLASS. The government is almost as corrupt as my family and I just can't lol. But its almost over! I'm planning a birthday party! My baby is turning three and I can't believe its been three years. He's growing into such a gentleman. I haven't made a concrete decision but I'm prob gonna go with Peter Piper again, they have better pizza than Chuckie Cheese even tho Chuckie has better kid games. we'll see! I gotta go do some more homework cause these A's don't earn themselves.

Ramble over here

So I'm taking the most boring class on Earth, government and its led me to a few thoughts. Some of these thoughts are only slightly impacted by the recent presidential debate, which is in short a debacle of hatred and fearmongering.

First off, this constitution of ours which states that "all men are created 'EQUAL'" . Now I think most people forget that at the conception of this "great and wonderful" document, BLACK PEOPLE WERE NOT CONSIDERED MEN, HUMAN whatever you want to call it, we were less than hence the 3/5ths of a person. It took an amendment for us to even be considered worthy of having the same rights as white folks. This amendment was the 14th amendment(see below) which granted citizenship to former slaves and all persons born or naturalized within the US. Let us not forget that even after this amendment was ratified in 1868, we still had YEARS, DECADES to go before we received anything resembling the same rights white men had. [I say men because white women had their own struggles for equality as well].

In the years between 1868 to maybe...1948 we were still treated as inferior to our color challenged counterparts. We still had to use separate facilities to eat, drink, use the restroom and even attend schools. In 1954 in the Supreme Court Case Brown Vs the Board of Education they decided that segregating schools was unconstitutional (shocker right?). Even with this decree from the highest court in the land the color challenged folks still harbored hatred in their hearts towards POC. Black folks was getting hanged, shot and killed left and right. Nothing has changed, the kkk just wears different uniforms.

Lets fast forward past the background you should already know. In present day 2016 POC are still being killed at alarming rates(thank you corrupt police). The killers walk free. We have a presidential candidate who is stirring all the racial tensions and hatred to scary levels. This shit is scary, and white folks are eating his rhetoric up. Even more alarming THERE ARE POC ENDORSING HIS MESS.

Yes I said it, there are black people who "want to make amerikkka 'great'" again. I think they forget that it wasn't so long ago that even looking at a white woman could get a brother killed(yes I'm talking to you). Like is this the amerikkka you want to go back to?

Me personally, I'm trying to go towards an Amerikkka where I don't have to be afraid of raising a black son in. But not everyone can identify with this dilemma. Not everyone is willing to examine the racism embedded in their upbringing. They just want to continue to deny the fact that racism is still around, and these days its being blasted in all arenas of the media.

Someone asked me "why do black folks make everything about race? I don't see color, I love everyone" I had to tell this friend that he was part of the problem. Denying race, denying color and refusing to see that THERE ARE VAST RACIAL DISCREPENCIES is a huge issue. I'm black and for someone to say they don't see color is DENYING who I am. I shouldn't have to deny who I am to coddle your white feelings.

It just bugs the ever loving shit out of me. This election has caused me to lose SO MANY "friends". I'm deleting folks left and right. Like Trump really brings out everybody's latent racist tendencies.

Also I should add that BLACK PEOPLE CANNOT BE RACIST. WE HOLD NO POWER TO OPPRESS WHITE PEOPLE OR ANYBODY ELSE. SO PLEASE BEFORE YOU EMAIL ME OR COMMENT SOME RIDICULOUS SHIT HAVE A SEAT.

I hope you enjoyed my ramble but homework is calling me so I must go finish this assignment.





The 14th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified on July 9, 1868, and granted citizenship to “all persons born or naturalized in the United States,” which included former slaves recently freed.

God and stuff

Random thought.

So I'm listening to this song right? It's called Penthouse Blues or something. And one of the verses is talking about "God must not be real because what kind of God would allow people to be killed in the streets"

I'm not even going to preface this by saying "I'm not the type of Christian to shove my religion down your throat but..." Because you control that scroll button and can skip right past this.

However I think one thing that people choose to look over or ignore is that God has made provisions for HIS children.

We live in a sinful, godless world and yet people still choose to blame God for the actions of others. We have free will, God can steer you in the right direction all day long but at the end of the day YOU make the choice to do whatever the thing is you've been cautioned against.

He's provided a way out for everyone. EVERYONE is provided on time, all day never failing God coverage but if YOU don't accept it that's on you.

People spend so much time trying to change themselves so that the world will accept them. I've done it before and honestly it's not worth it. I'd rather have the never failing love of God than the flaky love of the world. Cause at the end of the day, God always has my pack.

Just like we tell folks to do their own homework when it comes to politics, vaccinations, circumcision and breastfeeding. Do your homework when it comes to God, not religion but God. Cause you can sit in church all the day long and still be a hypocritical heathen.

Stop searching for love in the arms of men who don't love you(guilty of this). Stop hiding from whatever pain your feeling in alcohol and drugs (also guilty af).

Just stop.

Learn to love yourself first because if you don't love you NO ONE ELSE TRULY CAN.