Owning Your Shit

Folks, we gotta do better. We have to teach our kids to hold themselves ACCOUNTABLE for their actions. That starts by US holding Ourselves ACCOUNTABLE for our own actions. 

We live in a society where folks refuse to take accountability for their actions and prefer to pass the buck and blame everyone else. 

We have to OWN our OWN mess so that we can teach our children to be responsible members of society. 

I'm teaching Ezra the art of accountability, and to own his shit, and it starts with ME. 

Materialistic Qualities

One thing that I've been really grateful that my parents taught me was to not be a materialistic twit. Growing up, they were never really concerned with keeping up with "the Johnson's". Yes, we had nice things but that is because my parents worked hard and they wanted to do nice things for their children. My parents taught us the value of hard work so that we would appreciate what they did for us. My dad had a bazillion brothers and sisters growing up, so he's always gone above and beyond for my brothers and I when it comes to clothes, toys, and books.

In no means have I ever measured his love by the things he's bought us, because his love runs deeper than anything I've ever known. This is the same guy who no matter how much I've disappointed him he's always stood by me and loved me all the same. This is the guy who got woken up at 3 am by my 3 year old because he had a nightmare and he needed his dad (da). This is the guy who against my wishes bought Ezra a brand new pair of Jordan's because of family tradition. *shrug* Whatever issues my dad and I may have that periodically rise up, my dad is fucking awesome. I appreciate the shit out of everything him and my mom have sacrificed for my son, and I and for my brothers.

That's one of the lessons I want to teach Ezra, the value of hard work. It will make him appreciate the things he earns in life. {old post}

Invincibility, Pain and Family Photos!

My God, has it been an eventful week. Aside from the usual momming, school, practicum and life duties this week I had the first part of my lumbar procedure. The day after the procedure I was feeling like I was INVINCIBLE. I literally felt like I was a brand new woman. I honestly can't remember a time when my body hasn't been wracked in pain, so that was a new thing for me. I went to my practicum I was able to focus on everything with an almost hyper alertness that even the teacher and students noticed. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT MY BACK WASN'T HURTING AT ALL. They stuck a needle into my back multiple times and in spite of that, I was moving freely for the first time in years. My mind wasn't bogged down with pain and I thought it was PERMANENT. I enjoyed the three hour class, came home and watched the new Power Ranger movie with my shortie. I mean, I was LOVING life, just living it up. 

Well the closer it got to the twelve hour mark I got this headache, and I was so confused like huh?  I did my mental check list...Did I eat today...yeah...Have I been drinking water...yeah... so what the heck...oh yeah the anesthesia DUH 

Man, when I tell you I went to bed with the migraine of all migraines. Lord hammercy, I woke up Saturday feeling like I got ran over by a train. My back is wacky again and I'm just readjusting all over again. I'm just NOT FEELING THIS.

I guess the moral of this particular story is that I honestly never realized how much of my energy is devoted to managing my back pain. I am having a hell of a time trying to readjust to the pain. Those twelve hours of freedom from the pain were...something that I never could have imagined. One day maybe that will be my reality. 

In other news, I have one more week of this class and my current practicum and I'm kinda sad about it. I really like the teacher and class I'm observing. I feel like I'm learning a lot from them. Each of her students brings something unique to the table. Wednesday and Friday students from each of her classes approached me and started conversations, that made me feel happy. Hopefully I will see them on campus when I come see my mom and they will remember me fondly. I have one more week with them tho, so I'm going to make it the best week. 

FAMILY PHOTOS 

WE GOT THEM BACK AND THEY ARE JUST SO FLIPPING AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL.