STUNNED 😦

I just hit 30298 words on my novel and I’m GEEKED. I’m beyond happy. Ugh so happy 😁 

Dumbstruck

OMG I JUST HIT TWENTY THOUSAND WORDS ON MY NOVEL FINALLY AND I AM GEEKING!!!! 

Now I’m gonna take my sick behind to bed and live to tackle a few more thousand words tomorrow!! 

Also, I got Ezra’s school pictures the other day and they are just so friggin adorable. How did I get so blessed! ❤️

I love who You are

I wish I could share this with the person who needs this the most. Sometimes the people who should love you the most, end up hurting you. Repeatedly. Callously. Without a care for your feelings. 

I've never understood that even though that has been my personal experience with certain individuals. Why continually open yourself up to that hurt when you know how certain people are? If no goodwill exists in them towards you, protect your peace of mind because you deserve more than halfhearted attempts at civility. 

It is not always in your best interest to be the bigger person. Your emotional well-being has to come first. Always. 

And if by some chance you do read this and we break bread later this evening just know that I respect your decision to continue to be there for this person. I'm not you and I couldn't, wouldn't and would never ever make the types of sacrifices you make for family but I get it. I love you more for it. 

Early Mornings

When I’m not feeling good I have such a hard time sleeping. I think I caught a virus or something at school. I woke up and I’m laying here exhausted and feeling like death but I have my family so I’m okay. 

I was listening to voicemail I got earlier this year and just haven’t been able to let go of. Just wishing we had one more visit or even a phone call. He’s five and those memories start to fade after awhile. 

This week has been such a tough week emotionally and physically. It’s hard realizing that you aren’t equipped to help someone and that they may not want to be helped. Couple that with the stomach virus, not sleeping and my back being a nuisance I’ve been a functioning mess. I’ve no desire for class work outside of practicum. I don’t feel like these textbooks were written with POC in mind. They mention us, yes several times but it’s a gloss over. It’s aggravating and annoying and to mention it to the teacher isn’t always pretty. Lived experiences count for nothing. 

I Like That

Watch this 

I am having such a weird day. Nothing is going as planned and this made me cackle out loud lol 😂 

Mood Posting

Today I’ll do bullets to summarize my day/week/month/year(if you don’t get this...)

1. 1.) I wore my Star Wars shirt/mascara/lipstick in a bid to beat the mood. It didn’t work. 
   
2. 2.) Student kicked me in the shin and I now have a purple bruise. 😑 
   
3. 3.) Worked with students on blending sounds and they are kicking ass. I’m so proud of them. 
   
4. 4.) Ezra saw me in the hallway and gave me a hug. I love him. 
   
5. 5.) Came home after class and cried for an hour. #adulting 
   
6. 6.) IEP meeting and mom guilt equals the need for serious mental self care this weekend. 
   
7. 7.) Gentle reminder to myself that I’m doing this by myself and I am doing a great job. You’ve got this Stacie. 
   

Now it’s time for bed because tomorrow I’m building a birdhouse with my shorty at school. And then I’m going to to come home and cry. Or do homework. Or go visit my friend and her new baby. Or sleep. 

seasonal blah

This political climate is putting a damper on my already questionable mood. There’s something in my left eye that’s been in there most of the day and it’s just bothering me. I want to wear a shirt to cheer me up tomorrow but I can’t because I’ll be with the kids and Star Wars isn’t appropriate nor professional for school. 

Today I was sad but I went to school and put on a happy face.  I got to teach the reading lesson and teach a new reading game to a few students. I’m going to plan a reading lesson for later this month to teach them. I’m excited about that because it’s practice and it’s a learning experience. I love my mentor because she lets me try stuff and gives me advice based on her twenty years of teaching. 

I’m nervous about meeting with Ezra’s teacher tomorrow. Like. He’s my kid and I know I have unreasonably high expectations because I know what he’s capable of and I know what they are capable of. I just find it so hard to separate my parent role and my pseudo teacher role. I’m giving myself anxiety tonight. 

NANOWRIMO 

I’m about seven chapters into this novel and just damn. Go me. 

Nanowrimo Day 3?

I am consumed by nanowrimo to the detriment of my homework. The characters in my story are arguing loudly about their storylines and disagreeing over every minuscule detail. Until I write it down. 

I am having so much fun!!!! But I still have homework and honesty it’s not as fun writing a community plan on how to encourage diversity as it is to write these fictional characters. Alas, this community plan must get written. 

I spent most of the day working on the community plan before caving and jumping back into my story. I just couldn’t focus any longer. I smashed out two chapters before I realized what time it was and now I have to sleep because 7 will be here quickly. 

Nanowrimo Day 1 update

Briefly! My Nanowrimo goal for the day was 1,667 words and I accomplished 1,329. My back was in more pain than when I sat down so I decided to listen to my body and go to bed. However I am so proud of myself! I’m not editing it. I’m just plugging away, I can edit in December. 

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE PARTICIPATING THIS YEAR!!!!!!

Also my friend P is like super friggin talented. I am so mad at her. She sent me two chapters of her novel and went to bed but I have QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS LOL 😂 wake up! 

Ooo and I discovered that a friend(?) I know is also doing nanowrimo too! She’s doing a fantasy book. Idk what mine is considered. I think fiction. Maybe. I’ll figure it out. Lol. 

Goodnight world! 

Kinder Field Trip! Nanowrimo

Awe inducing greatness transpired today. 

Despite the overwhelming amount of physical pain I have been in, I did a mom thing today. It was the best decision I’ve made for my family. We had our first kindergarten field trip today and I had volunteered to be a chaperone waaaay back when. Waaaay before my back declared mutiny. I piggybacked Tylenol and ibuprofen and was able to stand as I didn’t bend over or twist. 

I had so much fun with Ezra and his friends. I enjoyed hanging with the other parents. I ended up hanging with the dads lol 😂 they are a riot. I rarely get to enjoy my class and Ezra at the same time so it was nice to see everyone interacting together. 

We did pizza math where they explore the concept of adding and subtracting using pizza. We had a shape scavenger hunt all over the game section of the Peter Piper and the kids LOVED IT. Then they learned about the “my plate” and about what dairy, grains, protein, veggies and etc. were. Once all the learning was done they got to make their own pizzas with all sorts of toppings, eat and PLAY. They even got ice cream right before we went back to school lol 😂 

Right after we made it back we had the literacy parade. Each grade picked a scene from a book and I think they were supposed to act it out lol. I’m not sure if that ended up happening. There was a lot going on out there. There were some cool mini floats. The kindergarteners chose Clifford the Big Red Dog lol the reading team dressed up as the cat in the hat 😱

It was such a great day. 

NanoWriMo

I am embarking upon a journey. A journey upon the likes of which I’ve never gone before. And I am terrified completely and utterly terrified. I’m going to write a novel in 30 days. From semi scratch. This is my life. Full time college student. Mother. And NanoWriMo embarker! 

Back crap. They prescribed a new thing. I hope this works because pain lines aren’t a cute look for me. They were noticeable today.