I feel like it's time for me too start getting back to the basics of me. I spend too much of my time doing for others, and not enough time doing for me. Tonight for instance i found myself childless for a few hours and had no clue what to do. My cousins and friends all have boyfriends/husbands and are always busy or out. So i did my hair and went grocery shopping. Lame yes, but i needed to get out the house. And let me tell you shopping without the baby is strange.
So back to the basics right? Usually when i write i write from an emotional standpoint. But I'm emotionally constipated these days which is giving me awful headaches by the way. So i guess i should start with WHAT I'm feeling
I feel worried about my dad's surgery. Worried about my mom and how strange she's been lately. I'm tired a lot, I'm doing a lot by myself and im not complaining but it gets weary. I'm lonely, i don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. {That was the one thing my ex was good for, just talking to me and giving me sound advice and calming me down and reminding me to take time for me}.
I'm just frustrated sometimes. I pray for things and God keeps telling me to wait and be patient. The thought of dating freaks me the heck out. Actually the thought of another man seeing me naked gives me nightmares. Like what would I even talk about on a date? Ugh
My dreams frustrate me to no end. I used to be able to figure them out. They are always tied into my emotions. But I'm emotionally stuck so i think my subconscious is playing with me. Bad subconscious!
But that's life isn't it?
A vortex of complex emotions or lack thereof.
I need some Tylenol and a serious nap.
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