Creative block causes ramblings

Lately I've had such a creative block,  the words don't flow and i end up deleting blogs.  Conflicting emotions.  Dreams.  It all has to exit one way or another.  What better way than to journal it all out?

Let's start with yesterday. My mother, my aunt,  my cousin and I went to dinner right?  Well we ended up running into my pastor and his family and a new church member. We all sat together and it was really nice. I had fun being sans baby. 

Ezra had a ROUGH night last night,  kept me up till two am having fits.  Gah, i had to remind him he ain't about that life.  Once he calmed down i checked his gums and he has two teeth in the front breaking the gums and his back molars coming up as well.  Can we say Tylenol?   Thank God i had some in the fridge. 

I watched a really really intense video on YouTube today.  One hour and twenty one minutes of straight knowledge.  She raised valid points.  Like,  how do i raise my child up to NOT fear police,  when in all actuality he needs to be VERY afraid.

Black men,  our fathers, sons,  brothers,  uncles, husbands,  grandfather's they are Americas number one enemy.  I feel like we've been conditioned to just accept this as our fate,  to be passive.  Like its cool to acknowledge but with acknowledgement comes a responsibility to dialogue,  a responsibility for action.  If we don't make the world a better place for our kids a NO ONE WILL. They don't care about us.  They really don't. 

Race is one of those things that has been bothering me lately.  For example,  raising a black man child it should be common knowledge to teach them about the Travyon Martins, and Mike Browns of the world to prepare them right?   But what if you have a black person who hates what they are,  who denies their heritage?  What then? That bothers me

Being A black woman is one of the best things God gave me.  I'm flawless. White women pay for what i have naturally. Abs for a fellow sister to hate and deny what God gave her grinds every button i have. Especially when it's a family member. Ugh.  Let me quit on the off chance she actually checks my blog lol

I should probably go lay down while my child is sleeping.  But I feel like there is something inside of me struggling to get free.