Thanksgiving, it used to be this huge ordeal for us. My dad would drag us all to his moms house. We would do the family thing, see our cousins and then go home. Then we all grew up, everybody started having kids and getting married(notice how I purposely reversed that?) and we all had a pass to do our own things.
For the most part, I choose to stay home with my family and be thankful that I don’t have to put myself in situations where I am uncomfortable or unwanted. My cousin and her boys come over each year, we eat too much and take the kids to the park. This year Ezra and Gavyn played extremely well together, partially because Gavy isn’t afraid of Ezra anymore. Mostly they are both maturing and understand the importance of family.
When Ezra started having his asthma attack Gavyn rushed him over to us and that was one of the first times he didn’t really irk my soul. He really cares about Ezra and I could tell he was worried. I’m thankful for that because maybe one day Ezra and Gavyn will be close like my cousins and I were growing up.
This year I did stay home but I did call Ezra’s Great Gramma Liz. I like her, I don’t always trust her intentions(I rarely trust anyone related to him except one person) but I like her character. Everyone’s always painted her to be a specific way but I appreciate that bluntness. Maybe because I’m blunt too? Idk, she seemed to be feeling okay today but we didn’t talk for long. Ezra needed his treatment, there’s something in the air that’s got his lungs so tight..I’m really just not feeling Arizona right now.
These quiet holidays suit me. One day I’ll be back in that place where I can do crowds and noises and loudness. But for right now it just freaks me out. Oddly enough I don’t mind my practicum stuff it’s just social/family setting that are intolerable. Maybe it’s just not having the right people? Who knows.
But it’s late, I should go to bed. I have a long day ahead of me.
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